Past demons
Hi all,
cant believe i did not update this blog with one of my actual writings last 2 or 3 years. Even now i am here due to excessive pressure i am feeling writing my final thesis for my MBAE and just want to divert my mind a bit.
Past demons... yes exactly that i have been thinking about last few days or weeks maybe. I used to read a lot! A LOT! Mostly novels and history, i love both these. I know for a certain extend that your past and present will dictate your future. Your present is actually if not exactly how you have wanted it to be in the past. Well it may not be true for all of us but if you look back your past and compared it to your present surely along the way you would have wanted and dreamed some present part of it in the past. With that i mean the good ones. N most of the bad things surely we wouldn't have wanted it for us. But it just came along. It just stuck with us. Its like a time line. No matter how hard or how bad you try to make things better as a reaction of it some bad things will come along and if we are prepared of it, fine! Otherwise that would be our curse for out rest of the life, well depends on how we see it. Sometimes its blessings in disguise.. Every action has its equal and opposite reactions!
Well i am approaching 50 next year and this exactly how i feel, i think my life is exactly how i wanted it to be. N surely some bad things done knowingly or unknowingly surely haunting me and will do till i die! At this moment its not that hard to guess my best advice to the youngsters out there, especially my children, 'THINK BEFORE ACT' and "DONT SHOOT YOUR MOUTH".
Well what have done?? Not that i am going to say it out loud but enough to say there are things i done that im not proud of. N lately i have been seeing few guys i know in the past who actually know this things! N i dont know where to run and where to hide. Not that all of then angles but guess only i feel this way.
There will be people reading this or those close to me will be very judgmental on reading this but i need a space to vent out how i feel at this moment and once again its a lesson learnt aka in a hard way for me. I didnt think during those moment, 20 or 25 yrs ago, i was just concentrating on feeding my inner demons! Life is beautiful though and God has been very forgiving so far alas with some life threatening sickness but its fine by miles. Blessed with 3 gorgeous sons but no daughters. Sometimes i like to think not having daughters is the worst punishment God can give me. I never know how my daughter will look! Those of you out there with daughters are really blessed ones.
Well what have i done? I love all people. I dont become judgmental towards others very easily and that one of my problems. Have given without thinking, dont mostly ask for anything in return. Have given and taken. Have hurt people and got hurt in return in most horrible way. Never stolen but thought about it a lot. I am not very love-bale son as well but managed to turn that around.
Well most sinister things i have done.................................................
for now i could say i have slept on the job and have fallen in love with wrong people, people who are belongs to others legally. N i am loved by the same person in return too... In some cultures (including mine) and countries this could wreck families and marriages. This is what i meant when i said truly blessed by God. Not that i take things for granted.............
Well back to the title................... well the past demons cont'u to haunt me and will cont'u!
cant believe i did not update this blog with one of my actual writings last 2 or 3 years. Even now i am here due to excessive pressure i am feeling writing my final thesis for my MBAE and just want to divert my mind a bit.
Past demons... yes exactly that i have been thinking about last few days or weeks maybe. I used to read a lot! A LOT! Mostly novels and history, i love both these. I know for a certain extend that your past and present will dictate your future. Your present is actually if not exactly how you have wanted it to be in the past. Well it may not be true for all of us but if you look back your past and compared it to your present surely along the way you would have wanted and dreamed some present part of it in the past. With that i mean the good ones. N most of the bad things surely we wouldn't have wanted it for us. But it just came along. It just stuck with us. Its like a time line. No matter how hard or how bad you try to make things better as a reaction of it some bad things will come along and if we are prepared of it, fine! Otherwise that would be our curse for out rest of the life, well depends on how we see it. Sometimes its blessings in disguise.. Every action has its equal and opposite reactions!
Well i am approaching 50 next year and this exactly how i feel, i think my life is exactly how i wanted it to be. N surely some bad things done knowingly or unknowingly surely haunting me and will do till i die! At this moment its not that hard to guess my best advice to the youngsters out there, especially my children, 'THINK BEFORE ACT' and "DONT SHOOT YOUR MOUTH".
Well what have done?? Not that i am going to say it out loud but enough to say there are things i done that im not proud of. N lately i have been seeing few guys i know in the past who actually know this things! N i dont know where to run and where to hide. Not that all of then angles but guess only i feel this way.
There will be people reading this or those close to me will be very judgmental on reading this but i need a space to vent out how i feel at this moment and once again its a lesson learnt aka in a hard way for me. I didnt think during those moment, 20 or 25 yrs ago, i was just concentrating on feeding my inner demons! Life is beautiful though and God has been very forgiving so far alas with some life threatening sickness but its fine by miles. Blessed with 3 gorgeous sons but no daughters. Sometimes i like to think not having daughters is the worst punishment God can give me. I never know how my daughter will look! Those of you out there with daughters are really blessed ones.
Well what have i done? I love all people. I dont become judgmental towards others very easily and that one of my problems. Have given without thinking, dont mostly ask for anything in return. Have given and taken. Have hurt people and got hurt in return in most horrible way. Never stolen but thought about it a lot. I am not very love-bale son as well but managed to turn that around.
Well most sinister things i have done.................................................
for now i could say i have slept on the job and have fallen in love with wrong people, people who are belongs to others legally. N i am loved by the same person in return too... In some cultures (including mine) and countries this could wreck families and marriages. This is what i meant when i said truly blessed by God. Not that i take things for granted.............
Well back to the title................... well the past demons cont'u to haunt me and will cont'u!
Comments